Breaking the myth behind Break-up

To each one of you living an unconventional life, trying to sail through, falling apart every single time and gathering yourself back to standing all over again, pat your back and be proud of yourself buddy! Coz it’s not easy to stand against the wave, to challenge the society and to be what you are today.
Good grades, a decent job, marriage by 27, kids by 30, happy settled life with no glitches at all is what we have all grown up thinking to be a perfect life. And if any glitch what so ever; compromise, understanding, acceptance is the medicine to any turmoils. That’s what makes you settled and mature.
But then there are people like you and me who believe, no one is born to be settled for less than what we deserve. After all, we are humans & not mere dust particles to be settled on furniture.

So stop judging your decision of breaking up with your partner or walking out of a marriage, for not being the quintessential family person that the society expected you to be and most importantly, stop searching an answer to the ever daunting question: “Why did this happen to Me?”

Trying to find the answer to this will not just lead you into the deep dark but will engulf you in a fake comfort of self-victimisation. Rather than finding the positives of being free from a meaningless relationship, you will end up blaming your partner, your parents, fate, yourself and the list will go on.

So here are little steps that will help you sail through this tough time:

Stay Away from the Blame Game

A failed relationship doesn’t make you or your partner a bad person. Both of you might be the best of human beings individually but worst when it comes to being together. So stop blaming yourself or your partner, stop harbouring grudges against each other. Try accepting the situation and move on. Hatred against each other will only increase pain and make every day even more difficult. So try to cherish the happy moments and let go of the sour experience.

Save yourself from knee jerk reactions

Sometimes with the spree to correct our decisions, we end up doing some grave mistakes in life. Getting into a new relationship, being overprotective about your kids, get overboard on alcohol, adopting a pet and I even know of people deciding to adopt a kid just to avoid being alone.

Getting into a new relationship, taking care of a kid or adopting a pet is a huge responsibility and not just a distraction. So ask yourself if you are ready to get into such a ball game. Give yourself some time to heal, keep your heart open and let love & happiness find you but don’t be in a rush, acknowledge your state of mind, this will help you be strong and make wiser decisions in near future.

Taking some impulsive decision is what you should avoid the most in life. If you feel you deserve some time to heal your heart, go ahead and give yourself the leverage, sometimes the fear of being lonely might hit you so hard that you end up taking some random decisions and be in the same trap that you were trying to run away from.

Don’t be overprotective towards your kid

Most of the single parents tend to be overprotective about their kids, though with a pure intention but at the end of the day, it may hurt your kid’s mental health in more than one ways. It’s absolutely fine to think the best for your kids but with a mentality of overcompensating for your other half may not be the right approach.

How much ever you try to compensate or protect your kid from your negative experiences, there will always be some shortcomings which you will curse yourself for. So stop pressurising you and your kid. Let them explore their lives, understand their personal equations. At the end of the day, their journey of life and equation with their parents is totally different from your life. Let them evolve, explore and be comfortable in their own way.

One day at a time

The void is real, negative thoughts crossing your mind is normal, feeling restless about the uncertain future is natural and the more you force yourself to stay away from these, the more will you end up being engrossed in the same.

So first and foremost accept the situation, be proud that you could take such a bold step and reassure your self that you will always have your own back. The world is not a perfect place nor are you a perfect human being, no one is, no one can be. But coming in terms with your shortcoming, acknowledging them and moving on with a positive mindset is what makes you one of a kind.

So trust the universe. Reconnect with things you had lost touch on the way and try to find what makes you happy. Enjoy every little thing you do on a daily basis.

To start with, Clean up the mess around you, make yourself a nice cup of coffee, treat yourself with a nice sumptuous meal, put on some good music, read a book, pick up a new hobby and if you like, just scribble your thought on a piece of paper. Write your heart out, let your thoughts melt through your fingers. Trust me, it will take all your pain out of your system and bring a smile to your face when you come back to it after years.

Things to look forward to in life

It’s your life, so live it to the fullest, no situation or incident is bigger than You. It’s ok to fall as long as you can pick yourself up. And it’s never late to give yourself a second chance, and there is no better time than Now. Cheer yourself, be your own best friend, take professional help if required, and give yourself the leverage to be the best version of yourself.

Happy Healing Friends! Hope this article brings a brim of smile on your face, gives you a little perspective and makes you a little stronger than what you already are.

Would love to hear your thoughts. Let me know what topics you want to read about and I promise to touch upon those with best of my capabilities.

Have a beautiful life ahead, sending you lots of love and positive vibe!
-Your Banjara Girl…