True Essence Of The Word “Hiraeth”

Some words have no replacement, no synonym and no meaning to the world around but it sticks and stays with you for a lifetime. In fact, it touched me to the extent that I engraved it on my body as a permanent tattoo. Hiraeth is not just a Welsh word with deep meaning. It is the constant awareness that life and time never returns.

The definition of home ten years back was totally different from what it is right now, even though the house’s physical appearance remains the same.

Back in childhood, home was all about Dida & Dadu’s unconditional love for their little Riki. It was not just my pet name; Riki was my identity, solace, and a comforting blanket. Then came a phase called adolescence that encompassed me with a hunger for independence and freedom. But little did I know that this little Riki will start to fade away in the craving to establish Sreya.

Losing grandma was devastating; it was the first loss of my most favorite soul on earth, a year passed, and I lost my granddad as well. With them, I lost something very precious. Do I miss them? Maybe not, I am old enough to understand the cycle of life and death, but I miss that little Riki who also left with them. I miss the twinkle in my eye and the racing of my heart when I would hear them calling me “RIKI!!!!!!”. The perfect mix of anxiousness, excitement, love and affection. Sreya is a lot more mature; she is strong and understanding, but Riki is uncanny, immature, raw, and unapologetic.

With Dida & Dadu passing away, I have realised the importance of parents in my life. I know I can always return to them whenever I want, and we will always be there for each other.

She can wait eagerly for her entire life and wish that maybe someday she would hear some voice calling her “RIKI”, and she would just collapse and cry, cry her heart out like an inconsolable little child.

So to all the people reading this, you are lucky if you have your loved ones around you. Take some time off and be with your parents, grandparents or loved ones. Nurture the Rikis within you, and do not let anything take away your inner child.

This was quite personal and a little cathartic, but I guess I have the liberty to share my heart with you. I am sorry if I made you guys feel sad, and I promise to come back with some feel-good blogs soon. Till then, take care of yourself and your loved ones, stay safe and if possible, keep me in your prayers.

Lots of love,

Your Banjara Girl

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Sreya Dasgupta

Sreya Dasgupta

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A wanderer with a desire to create inspiring stories of life